Remember The Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock? The movie showed how a kid who had an extremely rough upbringing got help from the family of a school friend, found success in football and ultimately ended up being adopted by the family. Turns out he was never adopted.
Michael Oher says that he was tricked by the Tuohy family into signing documents that made them his conservators. Since he was already 18 at the time the family told him, “that it means pretty much the exact same thing as ‘adoptive parents,’ but that the laws were just written in a way that took [his] age into account.”
Oher also says that papers were signed so that his story and likeness were given away for free to use in The Blind Side. He also never got a single royalty check for the hugely successful, Oscar nominated film in the 14 years since its release.
It just continues to baffle me that they essentially purchased a young Black man’s life to make football money off of, like buying a racing horse, except a person. Like, I don’t know how else to say it. And then made everyone think it was something wonderful they did to “save” an “impoverished, Black boy”, and he’s been saying it for years to no avail that they took advantage of him!
adhd is so embarrassing ur basically like “I have to have fun right the fuck now or I’m throwing myself off the roof” 90% of the time and you also have very little control over this
This was the single most important thing for me to start understanding re: my undiagnosed ADHD, and it’s the thing no one tells you except other ADHD sufferers. My brain’s reward system is so broken that boredom rapidly becomes indistinguishable from a depressive episode. There’s no healthy, normal ability to experience something as simply being a little dull–as soon as my brain isn’t getting regular hits of stimulation, I start clawing at the walls. This is what makes working in a structured environment and initiating tasks so difficult for me, not malice or other character flaws.
What makes it worse is that, if you’re like me, when you were growing up, the only way your authority figures knew how to perceive this was “they’re just goofing off,” and therefore, would deprive you of anything remotely stimulating until you’d done your work, thinking that – if it worked like it would with an NT kid, you’d do your work faster so you could get back to having fun.
Instead, they just pulled the plug on any tiny bit of power you had running to your necessary brainwaves and put you into longterm shutdown mode.
But then….you grew up…with only that method for coping ingrained into you. So no matter how much you may know logically, now, that you have to have the “fun/interesting/challenging” cord plugged in for your brain to have any juice at all, you feel guilty for having to plug that in FIRST instead of as a reward for doing Adulting. So you just sit there, unplugged, not getting anything done.
Or maybe that’s just me.
even the most supportive and well meaning people in my life struggle to understand how painful lack of stimulation is, how immobilizing executive dysfunction is, and how i cannot feel satisfaction the way they do. the number of times i’ve been told “won’t it feel so nice to accomplish it and have it off your plate?” and having to explain that i don’t feel relief or pride when i finish a task, just exhaustion, and that’s part of why it’s so hard to even start it
there needs to be a law that says job rejections have to be sent by a person.
they can still copy and paste a template, but the email has to be from someone in the company’s HR department so i know a human being was involved in the process at some point.
i’m so tired of submitting job apps, hearing absolutely nothing from anyone about anything, and then getting an email two months later from noreply @ lolyourefucked.com saying lol and letting me know i am, in fact, fucked.com.
